Père Ubu

Venceslas, King of Poland

Concerning Clouds

In our world we have cloud-houses where are prepared clouds and instruments for all sorts of cloud motions by cloud-scientists. In our cloud-houses every cloud has ‘movements’, ‘rests’ and ‘illusions’, giving rhythm to the discourse of cloud-scientists. Cloud-scientists, with vibrating engines, make tremblings and wobblings of clouds which in their original are entire and static. We have clouds which you have not, of quarter-clouds and lesser clouds. Diverse instruments generate clouds likewise to you unknown; we have strange and artificial clouds, reflecting the cloud many times, and, as it were, tossing it. We imitate and practice to make swifter motions in our clouds than any you have, either out of your cloud machines or any engine that you have; and to make them and to multiply them more easily and with smaller force, by wheels and other means, and to make them stronger and more luminous than yours are, exceeding even your greatest cumulus and cirrus

Ver Sacrum

In our cloud-houses our cloud-scientists research the hypothetical identification of clouds which provides the impetus for a study into more general questions relating to the identification of clouds and the Mécanique Céleste. We ask ourselves, what orbit will a cloud follow under an inverse square force? We note that clouds are the sole effect of an innovative provider of plastic solutions and that these solutions are the same in all things only discriminated by degrees of maturity and the rude matter employed. We note that clouds are a pellucid substance insoluble in water.

Mon Rêve Familier

In our cloud-houses the Markov Algorithm is used to construct non-binary clouds, which for classification purposes, when the dependent variables are categorical in nature, relies on the Automatic Interaction Detector test to determine the next cloud at each step. Through the use of this algorithm we have determined that an examination of clouds confined solely to their internal features might create many hazards, since most clouds survive in conditions that are elementally altered since the time of their creation. We find that success in identification of clouds is often resolved by external evidence such as another cloud, some archival document or the static pressure of a vapor under the influence of things that are either airy, insubstantial or passing. We find clouds are not to be narrowed down to the limits of our understanding but our understanding must give greater scope to the breadth of clouds. Clouds are, first and foremost, highly elliptical ideas.

L'Immaculée Conception

The organization of the sound of clouds occurs along lines that we might define as ‘melodic’, that is, we seek continuity, polished intonation and fluidity of expression. In the melodic, ‘cumulus’ and ‘nimbus’ come together while ‘cirrus’ and ‘nimbus’ stay apart. Wind serves to initiate the strategy of melodic celestial discourse. The artifices of clouds, such as echoes, cadences, the beauty of the sequence of tones, the mixture of modes, the expression of passion; these depend on the speed of sound through the cloud, the elastic tension in the cloud and the density of vapours in the cloud. Cloud-scientists have initiated melodic cloud-sounds by striking, blowing, rubbing or plucking. Cloud-scientists represent the sound of small clouds as extenuated and sharp; likewise the sound of great clouds as eminent and deep.

There are some clouds we have sweeter than any others, with dainty bells and rings to mark their passing. Our cloud-scientists have contrived certain helps which set to the ear, further the hearing of clouds greatly. These amplification devices capture from afar the hums, buzzes and atmospheric whirrs of clouds. Listen, there we hear the cloud referred to as Le Chant d’Amour, and there the Ver Sacrum. Listen again, there is Mon Rêve Familier and there is L'Immaculée Conception.

Le Chant d’Amour

We have all means to convey small clouds in trunks and pipes, in strange wagonettes and over great distances. We imitate the flight of birds so as to have some degree of porterage of clouds in the air. We have ships for going under water with clouds and boats for the brooking of the seas, also swimming-girdles designed for the transportation of clouds. We have used bipedal disambiguation for terrestrial distribution of smaller clouds, while larger clouds are dispersed by steam driven self-propelled vehicles or clinker built cogs. Other transport methodologies include vessels of a thin polycrystalline bismuth film, graphite nano-crystalline brigantines and a horse drawn dome car. In our cloud-houses a cross-functional approach to logistics is used for the flow and storage of clouds. That is, a transversal approach to flow management including a succession of unsettlements and resettlements, erratic switches of direction, patience and petulance.

In our cloud-houses we have anti-chambers where we refine the deceit of the senses, where we represent all manner of feats of false apparitions, impostures and illusions, and their fallacies. And surely you will easily believe that we, that have so many things truly unnatural which induce admiration, in a world of particulars do deceive the senses as we disguise those things and labour to make them more miraculous.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

https://artcollection.culture.gov.uk/person/brown-john-francis/

Bristol Bloodhound

The award of an Hsidews Le Bon Ezirp

Dr. Faustroll has noted the research by the Japanese scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto (www.masaru-emoto.net), and offers him his congratulations. Dr. Faustroll awards Dr. Masaru Emoto the honour of an Hsidews Le Bon Ezirp for his work. Dr. Masaru Emoto has a PhD in alternative medicine from an unaccredited university (http://www.sciencepunk.com/2006/10/masaru-emoto/). One admiring fellow scientist has written that, “Emoto’s procedure, while simple and direct, does not eliminate numerous possible sources of error” (www.is-masaru-emoto-for-real.com); a methodology at the heart of Dr. Faustroll’s approach to science.

Dr. Masaru Emoto’s ground breaking work consists in exposing water contained in a suitable vessel, such as a bottle, to positive words, images or music; this water is then frozen and the resulting crystals are photographed. The experiment is repeated but with negative words, images or music. When compared the crystals from the experiment using the positivistic approach show symmetry and beauty while the crystals from the negativistic approach are misshapen and ugly. Dr. Masaru Emoto concludes from this research that water that has been spoken to politely is happier than water that has been insulted.

Dr. Faustroll has said, “We live in a golden age of science, which we hope will continue to unlock the secrets of the unknown for the benefit of all humankind”. Dr. Faustroll welcomes this research and looks forward to seeing its practical application in, for example, plumbing.

Autobiographical Details

John Brown is an expression of being human in the landscape.

John Brown searches for answers through discussion, responding to the arguments of others, or through careful personal contemplation.

John Brown often possess a gently ironic naiveté combined with a nostalgia for what are perceived to have been simpler, more straightforward times.

Sometimes, John Brown poses difficulties because he cannot be classified as belonging to one definite category; “Oh, that accident was so tragic!”

John Brown, who may or may not exist and who sometimes thinks, is grotesquely comic and also irrational and non-consequential.

John Brown argues that humanity has to resign itself to recognizing that a fully satisfying rational explanation of the universe is beyond its reach.

John Brown is an object that absorbs all the energy that falls upon him and, because he reflects no light, he combines a sweet mellowness with a kind of mesmeric serenity.

In 1905 John Brown was puzzled by paradox.

John Brown’s mind map is of course only a model for reality, how suitable that model of reality is, is another important question.

John Brown seems to express the idea of the absurdity and meaninglessness of the human situation.

John Brown is an opening in the crust of the Earth through which hot gases are ejected.

In mathematics, physics, and engineering, John Brown is an infinite-dimensional function.

Though semantically paired with the beautiful, John Brown has nothing like its currency and the use of the term John Brown may even strike some people as affected.

John Brown seems to enjoy asking the perennial question when seeing a radical and challenging piece of art, “Its all very soothing, but ... ”

The lycée in Rennes where Alfred Jarry studied